I woke up feeling like a total crap. I'm used to waking up with her but this morning she wasn't there. I had no one to greet good morning to. She's not here and it breaks my heart in every way because I love her. She wants her space then I'll give it to her but I feel like this is a cycle. My mood swings aren't so bad anymore (compared to before) and it's all because of her. She gives me the happiness I need... it's all I need to get by and keep believing that I can make it. Why can't she do the same thing? I'm always there for her. I was so damn tired from rehearsals and all i wanted to do was go home and talk to her... but when I get home... she's moody and sad and I just don't know what to do anymore. She won't let me in that part of her life so, I'm really just here for the happy times? For the sex? For the laughter? I'll love her no matter what because I will keep my promise but... when is 'too much'...too much? I try so hard to make her happy but it's not working anymore. It's getting worse and I feel helpless and pathetic. I know I should keep trying because I did promise that I would do everything and anything for her but doesn't she see how affected I am when my best friends are sad... what more when she's the one who is sad? I love her. I want her. Of course what ever happens to her, happens to me. I'm naturally like that and I would rather hurt with the people I love because that's just how I show them that I love them.
I'm running out of things to say because I've said everything I possibly can to her. I woke up today feeling like our relationship was going down the drain. I feel like she doesn't understand how much I care and love her. I'm not saying I'm going to give up on this relationship because that's seriously the last thing on my mind but I really am running out of things to say and do.
...I don't know.
Maybe I need my space too, i just feel like we're needing this 'space' too early in our relationship and it kills me.
I hope you find your answers.
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