I'm Not Giving Up. Part 2

Ending Day 1 (of being confined in the hospital again) 

I can't say that today was easy. It was painful, brutal, and exhausting but I got through it. It's 9:30pm and I'm done with all the tests for today. I can finally relax and rest until tomorrow comes and I have to go back to being tested for my heart condition. It's okay though, I'm not feeling sad or held back because I know I will get through this even if my results are negative. This is part of life. It is what I have to go through to prove myself a worthy and strong human being. I cannot complain because complaining will just hold me back. It will make me think I can't get out of this and I will never be 'normal.' I have to admit, it's quite depressing to be stuck in the hospital and sick, days before Christmas. This is probably what some people would consider a nightmare and sorry to break it to you, but it is. It is depressing and it will bring you down tremendously but I can't allow that to eat me up. I have to get through this. I have to keep in my mind that this is just part of life's bumpy road and the highway will come around soon. It's not that hard to stand up from this because I have my loved ones. They give me so much strength and conviction. They prove to me that love can cure ME. This is the time I need to think for myself and be a little selfish because i'm fighting for my life. It's not like a break-up... Break-ups hurt but it doesn't kill. What I'm going through, well, it kills so, this is when I tell myself.... "hey, your loved ones... they love you so much and they love you so much because they want you to get through this. Their support and love can cure you, R." It's true. It's really all I need. I don't know how other patients get through their terminal illnesses, but for me... their love is all I need. Just knowing that I'm loved and cared for is enough reason for me to keep fighting this. I'm not giving up. I can't. If in the end, I don't make it, they will know I did everything and anything to get through this and I made my life with them worth it. They will know that I didn't let it just happen and I fought it so much... for them. This is really for you guys. It's so hard to show it but my words are truthful and honest. This is for you. I WILL KEEP FIGHTING BECAUSE OF YOU. Once again, thank you for loving me. It's really all I need to get through this.
-R.