Journal of A Space Cowboy

I'm tired. I'm so tired. It's pathetic because you say you're tired too, but you don't understand that you're supposed to be tired. You're worrying about school and stuff, but you don't give a fuck about the other things that will break you. This is when I just wait for you to realize what I'm saying. I'm so tired of everything making you angry and sad. I'm tired that you depend on me so much, but when I actually need to depend on you over things that are not in my control, I get shitfaced. I'm not saying you're never there for me, but you do exactly the things you hate me doing to you. It's so tiring. This is when I know things are about to fall apart and I just wait around to see if you actually do it or not. You say you don't want to leave, but I can read your mind pretty damn well. You've been talking to my brother and my friends. You think I don't get the hint that all of the sudden people are moving for me and tell me the same things? I'm not an idiot. If you clearly don't want to take care of me, then don't say you will. If you clearly are fed up and tired, then don't show me you're fine. I can read between lines because I'm really not stupid.